Religious Orders

Random Reflections of Disney

Posted: Saturday December 19 2009 @ 2:42pm

Religious Order: Travel

Just got back from a few days at Disney World. Here are a bunch of random thoughts in mostly random order:

There's a ton of cleavage on display at the parks. I'm not talking skimpy, per se. (One bonus of going to Busch Gardens in the hot Virginia summer is seeing all the teenage girls in short-shorts and skimpy tops.) I'm talking plunging necklines. And not just on teens. Women of all ages, and I do mean all ages, are pushing those puppies out for public view. I don't mind this, of course. Who doesn't love boobs? I just think it's weird that many women decide to show off that much boobage at a family-oriented park.

There are also a number of folks with religious-themed shirts. And they're free to do that, of course. But I actually take some care to avoid wearing anything controversial to family parks. We're all there to enjoy the park, not to make statements. I guess part of it is that religious folks are particularly bad at viewing their beliefs as ever being controversial.

Tangentially related, jeez, we're become a fat nation. And I say that as a fat person. We're heading towards a health crisis of Biblical proportions. I always wonder when I see really fat folks on scooters whether they got hurt, couldn't walk, and then got fat due to inactivity, or whether they just got so fat they couldn't walk.

I have 30 pounds to go to my goal weight. I bought myself my favorite Norwegian chocolate bar at Epcot. Its expiration date is 6 months away. So I have 6 months to drop the 30 or I'll have to toss that luscious luscious Firklover. It's called incentive.

There were an unusual number of ride breakdowns. Space Mountain had a car stuck on the lift hill. Pirates of the Caribbean was down for part of a morning. Spaceship Earth similarly was down for part of a morning. The Tower of Terror was down to one elevator for an evening. Sure, rides are going to break down, but this seemed like an unusually large number for a short visit. On the plus side, we scored a glimpse inside Space Mountain with the lights on.

Space Mountain with the lights on is both intriguing and disappointing. On one hand, it's neat to see behind the scenes. On the other hand, Space Mountain is really just a mad-mouse-style coaster in a big-ass building with fancy lights.

Food in the Magic Kingdom is simply awful. Like everything in the parks, it's hideously expensive. But it's also just plain awful. It's all fried crap.

Disney's Magical Express is indeed pretty damn magical. You check your bags at your departing airport and they just show up in your room. At the end of the trip, you check them at the resort early in the day and they just show up at the airport when your land. If you don't plan on leaving Disney property, it's great.

The Osborne Family Xmas light show at Hollywood Studios is an exercise in quantity over quality.

If they don't want you to rock the gliders in Soarin', then why do they rock? At least put up a sign instead of waiting until after I have it rocking to scold me over the PA system. That just makes me feel bad. (I'm talking about after the ride is loaded but before it starts. And, yes, my wife warned me to stop mere moments before the announcement.)

Why is the Haunted Mansion soundtrack CD only available outside the attraction, where it sits in the sun each day, introducing errors due to expansion/contraction cycles?

Why doesn't the Norway Pavilion list waffles on the menu? They're shown in the case, but not on the displayed menu. If you ever go, order the waffles. They're delicious and more ubiquitous in Norway than lefse.

Speaking of Norway, are they ever going to update the movie? Canada updated its movie. Granted France and China are showing old movies, too. But their movies are big-ass Circle-Vision movies and Norway's is just a plain old movie. Honestly, I could just make them a new one using photos from our trip last summer.

What is the deal with idiots and flash photography? First of all, they tell you on every goddamn dark ride to not do it. Second, the photos probably won't turn out anyway. Third, even if they turn out, the photo won't look cool because the stuff only looks cool when properly lit. Finally, you're fucking with my ride experience! I think it should be fully legal to grab the cameras off these idiots and smash them to pieces. (I'm not yet certain whether the them being smashed refers to the cameras or the idiots themselves.)


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