Religious Orders

Outsmarted Kitty

Posted: Monday November 01 2021 @ 6:31am

Religious Order: Technology

Oh, I'm just a genius, I tell you.

We had this problem, see? One of our cats, Nicky, is a pig. He virtually inhales his food. We can't feed him with the other cats because he'll finish first, then eat everyone else's food. (In addition to being a pig, he's also physically stout. We think he's part Husky.)

So, we feed him in the downstairs bathroom, locking him in while the other cats eat at their leisure. (No, we don't actually lock the door. We just close it.)

Of course, given his prodigious rate of consumption, he's typically done before the others have even started. So first he cries to get out. Then he gets bored. Then he starts playing with the roll of toilet paper. He'll unroll piles of it. Then he'll eat some of it, rendering it unfit for its intended use.

So, what to do?

Take a one liter bottle of seltzer water. (Or pop. Or whatever.) Drink it all and rinse the bottle out. Then cut off the top and bottom, leaving a cylinder about as tall as a roll of toilet paper is wide. Then cut straight down the side. Round off the pointy corners and snap it over the roll of toilet paper! Sweet!

He hasn't yet figured a way around it. Then again, he has a brain the size of a walnut, so you can't expect a whole lot out of him.


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