The Musical Xmas Genius of Tom Carlson

Tom Carlson - Christmas With Tom

	Jingle Bells 1,299,152 bytes Jingle Bells sung to the tune of Silent Night. Harder to do than you might imagine. This tune was featured on my hit CD "Christmas With Tom," which sold an astonishing three copies. It was my holiday CD for 1999. I repeated it on my 2000 CD.
	Silent Night 590,672 bytes Silent Night sung to the tune of Jingle Bells. Lots more fun. This also appeared on both my 1999 and 2000 holiday CDs. The 1999 CD also included two other holiday classics, but the source files were lost long ago. (Lost in that I haven't bothered looking for them.)
	Jingle Bells (Live in Cresco) 1,512,992 bytes I supplemented my 2000 holiday CD by adding some extra tracks. First was this "live" version of Jingle Bells. Actually, I just added some echo to the voice and stuck in some Cheap Trick At Budokan crowd noises. (Cresco is a small farming town in Iowa. It's the county seat of mighty Howard county. Hogs out-number people 4 to 1. One summer, in an effort to reduce a hog surplus, the town motto was "Raise a fork. Eat more pork!" It's also known as the "Birthplace of Genius." I was born there.)
	Silent Night (Satanic Version) 709,040 bytes Also added to the 2000 holiday CD is this satanic version of Silent Night. Basically, I just reversed the audio and added laments in the background.
	A Christmas Wish Just For You 1,297,856 bytes The holiday CD was closed out with this important Christmas wish, made just for you.

Tom's Computer - Untainted Xmas

	Introduction To An Untainted Xmas 1,036,064 bytes "Untainted Xmas" was my holiday CD for 2001. It's short for "Untainted by the fetid stench of humanity." Everything on the CD is computer-generated. Most of the music was put together with a audio loop sequencer. I shamelessly abused AT&T's speech synthesis site for the vocals. (They now expressly forbid folks from doing this.) This track introduces the concept of an Untainted Xmas.
	12 Days of Christmas 2,275,040 bytes The nice thing about audio looping software is that it makes the repeated verses really easy. Easy to make. Not particularly easy to which to listen.
	Deck The Halls 1,573,040 bytes I love the dispassionate fa-la-la-la-las.
	Jingle Bells 1,753,184 bytes The bells cut out half a beat early just to annoy you.
	Joy To The World 1,105,184 bytes Ooo! Spacey! No attempt at all at a melody.
	O Christmas Tree 1,042,976 bytes Contains real trumpets. Sampled trumpets, but trumpets none the less. This song was actually included on an xmas CD some guy made as a production resume. I don't think he got the job.
	Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer 841,232 bytes Contains the classic call and response vocals. "Like a light bulb!"
	Silent Night 718,112 bytes "Silent Night" was the first song completed for this CD. I probably should have stopped there.
	Up On The Housetop 991,136 bytes Tension builds via ever escalating six-millions-dollar-man sounds.
	We Wish You A Merry Christmas 917,696 bytes Another spacey track.

The Tom Carlson Holiday Orchestra

	White Christmas 1,728,992 bytes My holiday CD for 2002 contained but one song, a slow dirge-like version of White Christmas. It's slow for the simple reason that I can't play a guitar any faster.
	(You Ain't Gettin') Crap for Christmas 1,676,601 bytes My holiday CD for 2005 was created in one afternoon, shortly before xmas. It's just an acoustic guitar, poorly tuned, and me, also poorly tuned.

Impressed? Appalled? Lemme know at tom@tomcarlson.org!